Hannah Irene Rubenstein
My Own Voyeur
To exist in this body
is to live in clichés
to occupy the man-poet’s eyes
until he writes my words with my pen.
eyes alight nerves tingling waiting for him or
creaking bones skin sagging waiting for Him or
soft warm fuckable waiting for him or—
I want to tell you how I want to be
An aching mudpuddle of excellence
An exquisitely misshapen mass of
Jutting pubic confusion
In bed, waiting for my eyes
to adjust, I lift my sheet and watch
it float down to trace my curves
melt over each inch of skin
heavy and heavier and light as a feather
molding me until I can see clearly the shape
of my shape and I am surrounded at last
by the image of someone I recognize.
This is how I want to feel forever.
Hannah Irene Rubenstein is a New York City-based poet, playwright, and essayist. She holds a B.A. from Barnard College, where she was the recipient of the school’s Helene Searcy Puls Prize in Poetry. Hannah's work has been published in Laurel Moon, Meliora, Michigan Radio, and the Communicator, among others. You can learn more about her writing and upcoming projects at hannahirubenstein.com.